I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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