I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
