I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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