I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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