Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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