Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
