It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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