also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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