last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
