have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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