the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
