Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
