she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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