Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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