i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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