dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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