just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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