I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
