And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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