1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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