Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize