just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
