mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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