She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
