If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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