I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
