I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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