normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
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He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
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I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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