Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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