Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize