so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you had me at cake vodka
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
