as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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