You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
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Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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