I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
