Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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