Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize