ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
