ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
