Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
