Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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