I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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