you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
