The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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