Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
