No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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