My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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