you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
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Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
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This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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