I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
