I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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