so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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