you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize