Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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