Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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