I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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