Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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