Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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