i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
