So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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