Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
