the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
